There is always that moment on a first date.

The pause.

No matter what, there will be that awkward pause. If it is going well, it will happen when you think about how it is going well. You will think: “Oh my! He is so handsome. I cannot believe he asked me out. And it is going well! He even laughed at that stupid cat joke. Nobody laughs at that joke. Even the people who came up with all those cat memes. Wow, cat is a weird word if you think about it too much.” (Yes, your internal dialogue sounds like your maiden aunt because that is what you fear you will become.) The silence will inevitably descend because you broke the first rule of tightrope walking: don’t look down. You meta-analyzed the date into a dead zone.

Or there is the alternative. The man sitting across the table will think a joke constitutes describing a New Yorker cartoon. Involving a cat. In painful detail. You will be sure the silence fell because he is thinking about how weird the word cat sounds.

Have no fear! When the silences comes again, you will be prepared.

You will point out a random couple in the room and ask him what he thinks their story is. Think of it as a modern One Thousand and One Nights. 

If he conjures a good story, you will shamelessly rip off his ideas and write a novel based on them. You will go out with him again to avoid any future lawsuits.

If he tells a terrible story, you will not go out with him again, but you will write a satire about the date and all his annoying quirks. You will change all identifying details about him to those of a cat to avoid any future lawsuits.