One of the Scariest Things I've Ever Done

I was sitting in a beautiful, wood-paneled kitchen in the Hamptons. I felt sick to my stomach, and I was pretty sure that sweat was starting to form on my forehead. What could cause so much anxiety in such an idyllic setting?

I was about to read my writing out loud. 

As all you writers know, there is nothing quite as terrifying (at least, as far as art goes) as reading your work out loud. This is particularly true if you recently received a scathing critique that basically said you are a hack that should give up on writing completely.

Not that I am speaking from experience or anything. 

Okay, she might not have said that exactly. But I recently did give my work to someone who clearly did not get it. My first clue that it was a bad match was that she said she didn't get humor in writing.

Most of my writing is pure humor.

So yeah, it wasn't a match made in heaven. (Learn from my mistake, folks. Always make sure your beta reader/editor is a good match for your book. Basically, you want someone who is familiar with/actually likes your genre or style of writing.) 

Anyway, I had just recovered from a round of not-so-constructive feedback (constructive criticism gives you ideas on how to fix problems, not-so-constructive feedback just tells you what the problems are) so I was not exactly clicking my heels to share my work with other people.

Still, despite the urge to hide under my white, fluffy blanket, I took a deep breath and read the first line out loud.

Then the miracle occurred: they laughed. (This was the intended effect.)

I read another line.

They laughed again.

Before I knew it, I was laughing, too.

Anne Lamott famously said, "Laughter is carbonated holiness." I truly believe that. After I received a warm response, I knew that I could actually share my work with my world, and it could truly be seen and appreciated. I finally realized that I might actually make a successful go of this whole writer thing.

Now, this isn't a post that is about how negative feedback is wrong. I think it is good to find out areas of your book to fix (after all, I am an editor). But if someone absolutely destroys your work in an unhelpful way, don't be afraid to get a second opinion (don't be afraid of that in general). 

Also, don't be afraid to share your work. Don't keep it hidden on your laptop without anyone's eyes on it. Show it to someone you trust. You might be surprised. She might just laugh (in a good way).

Do you want to share your work with me? Find out ways I can get my eyes on your work here. I promise I give constructive feedback. I also have a great sense of humor. ;) 

A Writing Lesson from the Bachelorette Finale

Spoiler alert: Do not read if you are still watching Rachel's season of The Bachelorette.

I sat there with my hands clutching my head, rocking back and forth. I was pretty sure I was groaning as I felt my fingers pull at my hair. A show had actually caused me to literally pull my hair out.

My best friend did not think this was strange. I am pretty sure she felt the exact same way I did. When I eventually pulled my head out of my lap, I saw that she kept shaking her head with a look of distaste on her face.

What caused this level of angst in my apartment? It was the finale of The Bachelorette. To be exact, the source of my torment was Rachel breaking up with Peter.

I am a veteran of The Bachelor franchise. I have seen at least ten seasons of it. I consider myself a hardened viewer at this point. Never have I felt such angst watching a reality TV show (don't get me started on how many reality shows I have seen in general). It was like Jo and Laurie all over again (why, Louisa May Alcott, why?).

Basically, Rachel had a choice between two men. One she was head-over-heels in love with who was pretty much perfect, but there was one catch: he wasn't ready to get married in six weeks (wait, are you telling me that seems too soon to you, too?). He wanted to commit to her, but he valued a proposal too much to do it for the sake of live television. Then there was the other guy. Her family didn't like him that much, and she didn't seem to love him nearly as much, but he was a sure bet. He was definitely going to propose to her on a windy hill in Spain.

Who does she pick? You guessed it. The cheesy guy that she didn't like much, but she knew would give her a shiny ring. So I had to watch a painful conversation between two people who basically wanted the same thing--a serious relationship together--but one person was too wedded to a vision of a TV proposal to let that dream come true. She was basically willing to sacrifice a great ending that she didn't envision (becoming the girlfriend to a great guy instead of getting engaged) to a mediocre ending that she did (a lackluster proposal to a suspect guy that she thought was ok). 

Where is the writing lesson in all of this? Be flexible, especially with your endings. You might think that you have a simple, uncomplicated happy ending, but then you discover a more ambiguous, complex ending for your novel. Don't take the easy route or stick to what you have planned. Allow yourself to be challenged and create the correct ending to your story. (If you are looking for an example of this in fiction, How I Met Your Mother's ending is an example of a disaster you want to avoid. The writers should have been willing to change the planned ending!) 

Do you watch The Bachelorette?  Were you as upset as much as I was? Please tell me in the comments below so we can commiserate. 

A Revelation from a Video Game Exhibit

On Saturday, my husband and I went to a video game exhibit. Are we major gamers? No, not really, even though we do enjoy the occasional game (if the words "Final Fantasy" are in it, I am down to play it). We were there because I was conducting research for my novel (and, well, it also seemed like a fun thing to do).

I discovered a lot of things there. The X-Men arcade game was broken, forever crushing my dreams of ever playing it (it was always out of order at my childhood Pizza Hut). If you think a game looks like a Miyazaki film, it was probably produced by Ghibli studios (see Ni no Kuni). Kids will inevitably hog Duck Hunt even though they don't have any nostalgia for the game (not that I am bitter that I never got a chance to touch the beloved gray gun). After several rounds of Street Fighter, it was definitely decided that I am better at video games than my husband. 

While all those discoveries were pretty cool, my favorite one was the difference between mediocre games and those that stood out. Was it cool graphics? No, not really (although that helps). Was it amazing gameplay? Nope (I never really care about that much). It was one big thing: purpose.

I remembered a game that served as physical therapy for kids with prosthetic limbs. I was obsessed with the game that helped kids work through their anxieties and fears. I was totally infatuated with a video game that helped introverts explain their POV to their spouse. 

Want your work to be remembered? Have a mission. Don't just write or create for commercial gain. That is the fastest way to mediocrity. Actually think about the why behind your project before you start creating it. If you don't have a purpose, then why are you doing it?

Tears for Frears claims that everyone wants to rule the world, but I think everyone wants to change it (for the better). How is your art achieving that? Once you have an answer to that question, go forth and do it. 

Because once you have a goal for your art, I am almost positive you will achieve it. 

What is your purpose? Tell me in the comments below.

Writing Lessons from Master of None

I have always been a huge Aziz Ansari fan. Tom, his character, was one of my favorite character in Parks and Recreation, and his stand-up is the best I have ever seen (if you don't believe me, see his bit on ghosts).  Right now I am in the middle of season two of Master of None, and I absolutely adore it. So, in honor of my love for all things Aziz (treat yo self 2017), I present to you some writing lessons from Master of None.

1. Don't Be Afraid to Own Your Influences

Master of None has an episode that is a homage to Fellini films and another one that is in the format of New York, I Love You.  These aren't outright copies, but he is not shy about how he gets inspiration from them (the "New York, I Love You" episode is titled after the movie). Basically, he takes his influences and gives them his own twist to make something new. 

Your takeaway: Don't be embarrassed that you have influences (EVERYONE does). Instead of shrinking from them, embrace them. Now don't plagiarize (we all learned that is bad in school), but use your inspiration to do something new. For example, do you love video games? Write a short story that has a video game structure to it. 

2. Be Honest

What makes the show so funny (and what makes humor work in general) is that it is honest. In the episode "Ladies and Gentleman," it hilariously portrays the difference between walking alone at night as a man vs. walking alone at night as a woman. While the men walk, the song "Don't Worry, Be Happy" is playing. While a woman walks, scary music plays. What makes it funny is that the difference that it portrays is true. 

Your takeaway: Be honest in your writing; don't be afraid to put yourself out there. Not only will you connect with your reader, you might make him or her laugh (in a good way). 

3. Be Careful with Your Dialogue

The one major downside of the show is that the dialogue is stiff. Nobody talks that way! It is sometimes painful for me to watch. Also, the bad dialogue has the unfortunate side effect of pulling me out of the story and make me believe in the characters less.

Your takeaway: Make sure your dialogue is realistic. If it isn't, it can diminish other aspects of your story (i.e. characterization). Read it out loud to make sure it is solid. 

Have you seen Master of None? Tell me about your favorite episodes in the comments below!

Put Your Muse in a Jar

Okay, you have probably read a billion posts about how you shouldn't stare at a blank screen when you are stuck and how you should go out and do things. But what if you are stuck on what to do to get you unstuck? 

The solution: shove your muse in a jar! No, I am not shoving Frank into a jar (or advocating pushing yours into the trendy Mason jars that hipsters love). I am asking you to think about all the times you were inspired and write down what you were doing on a piece of paper. Then tear up the paper so you have each activity on its own strip of paper and then fold it in half. Then drop it in a jar (preferably one with cartoons on it). Whenever you get stuck, pull out the strip and do the activity. Then, before you know it, you will be racing back to your keyboard or journal! 

Here is a peek at a few things that are in my inspiration jar:

• Watch 80s music videos (my favorite is the a-ha's "Take on Me"): I don't what it is, but 80s music is always the most inspiring music in the world to me. When I hear it, I always feel things, and it takes me to another place. Add usually ridiculous videos that give me permission to create something that isn't perfect but is goofy in a fun way? I am ready to write. 
• Play arcade games: Okay, this doesn't work for every book, but I am writing a novel right now that is centered around an arcade game. As soon as I play Pac-Man, I am chomping at the bit (or, in this case, weird pellets) to get back to my computer.
• View a film from my "to watch" list: This involves creating a separate list, but it is worth it. A film is a great way to quickly analyze a story and inspire you to get back to your own. My latest one was Tron. The writing was DEFINITELY uninspiring, but the visuals were. 
• Listen to podcasts about writing: Nothing inspires me faster than hearing other writers discuss their craft. 
• Move my body: You are really sick of probably hearing this, but it works. Every time. 

What is in your inspiration jar? Tell me in the comments! 

I've Got a Blank Space, Baby

I am going to keep it real with you; I have been struggling with my novel. My characters have been silent, and I have felt tangled in the plot. I have been staring at the blank screen, grasping my hair in my hands, and yelling my muse's name (which is Frank) a la Marlo Brando in A Streetcar Named Desire. Despite my theatrics, he still wouldn't visit. Jerk.

But all of that has changed. 

As soon as I cleared time in my schedule and literally allowed myself to stare at a blank wall (I am not kidding, folks), I had ideas. TONS of them. The characters began chattering away at me. They told me about their hopes, their dreams, and their darkest secrets. You know, the stuff of sleepovers. I also got wonderful plot ideas. Ones that would make my readers gasp in surprise and keep turning the pages to find out what happens next.

It turns out my muse is kind of, well, human. He doesn't like it when my schedule is so packed that I don't have time to spend with him. It is kind of like ignoring your significant other and then suddenly expecting him or her to cook for you after you haven't talked for weeks. Nobody is going to do that.

No, you need to leave some "white space" or "blank spaces" in your calendar to daydream. In our fast-paced world, it may seem like a waste of time, but it isn't. You need to carve that time out of your calendar to allow yourself to daydream and be inspired. Otherwise, you will just stare at a blinking cursor, which still takes time and isn't as much fun.

So my challenge to you is this: go into your calendar and mark some time to daydream. You won't regret it, and your hair will certainly be thicker (it helps when you aren't pulling at it as much).

How about you? Do you make time to daydream? Let me know in the comments below!